


And You say I am held when I am falling short

by ReighnOnMe



Series: I take another sip, (I swear it's my last fix) [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ...eventually, Angst with a Happy Ending, At the same time, Blood, F/M, Fights (Arguments), Gen, Hand wavey doctor stuff, Help, I did do some research though its just not gonna be perfect, I'm Sorry, Ill add as i go, Marriage, Medical Inaccuracies, Michelle Jones Has A Miscarriage, Miscarriage, NOT endgame compliant, Peter Parker And Michelle Jones lost there child, Poor Michelle Jones, Poor Peter Parker, Pregnant Michelle Jones, Sad Michelle Jones, Sad Peter Parker, TW for angst, TW for cursing, TW for depressive thoughts, TW for eating disorder mannerisms, The Author Regrets Nothing, There married btw, Worried Avengers, Worried Pepper Potts, Worried Tony Stark, and everything, death of a child, depressed michelle jones, i don't know how to tag, no beta we die like men, tw for miscarriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25926460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReighnOnMe/pseuds/ReighnOnMe
Summary: Life’s been great Tony recovered Morgan’s growing up, and he and MJ are married expecting their first child, and everything’s going to planAnd then Parker luck just had to make an appearance.***Or, where everything’s going smoothly in Peter life, and then something happens, Again.***Trigger warnings for depression, Suicidal thoughts (Very minor), Death of a child, Miscarriage, Alcohol addiction, Self-harm, Nothing too graphicIf any of this could trigger you, please don’t read, and just skip to the second part of this series when its posted! And if you’re going to read, please heed the warnings <3
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Pepper Potts, Michelle Jones & Tony Stark, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark & Pepper Potts, Tony Stark & Pepper Potts, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts
Series: I take another sip, (I swear it's my last fix) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881562
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. 'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry, enjoy this Happy chapter while it lasts
> 
> ***
> 
> Nothings accurate its handwavey doctor stuff \\\Shrug\\\

It’s been a few weeks since they told Tony and Pepper about the baby and they couldn’t be happier MJ’s been doing good besides the typical pregnancy symptoms, she’s been taking prenatal vitamins and eating healthy, taking short walks and getting eight hours of sleep. With a sigh, he turns over to look out of the window by there king-sized bed his wife’s warm body against his back her hot breath hitting his neck in puffs of air he hasn’t slept a wink and its 3:05 AM according to the clock on his bedside table. And god is he tired, but his mind just won’t shut up. After a while, His eye catches vibrant pinks and oranges. 

_ ‘I was thinking longer then I thought.”  _ slowly swinging his legs over the side of the bed as to not wake MJ he shuffles out of the room to get some coffee walking past the nursery that’s across from the master bedroom that they have yet to fill with a crib and clothes. Realising he’s been standing there for a while, he walks to the open kitchen that’s connected to the living room ( [Kitchen/Living](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/125678645825615411/) )

Pulling his favourite spiderman mug out of one of the cabinets and putting it under the Keurig clicking ‘start.’ and watching the black liquid drip into the cup for a few minutes before it was full. It beeped alerting him that it was done. grabbing it and putting it on the island counter than grabbing some sugar and putting a spoon in remembering Tony joked saying 

_ “Jeez, kid want some coffee with that sugar?”  _

__ It was before Titan Peter wouldn’t trade what he had for the world, but sometimes he wished he could go back to the simpler times. Grabbing his scalding coffee and lifting it to his lips the burning liquid running over his tongue and throat with only a small wince, walking over to couch he lowers himself down running his hand through his already messed up hair, debating whether he should shower or get some work done when his phone started ringing cursing and answering it quickly, hoping MJ didn’t wake up 

“Hello?” He spoke quietly standing up and walking outside while closing the door slowly 

“  _ Hey, kid!  _ ” Ah, it was Tony why was he calling so early? 

“  _ What time is it? _ ” Did he say that out loud? He heard some shuffling on the other end and then an “  _ Oh shit! You didn’t tell me it was that early! Did I wake you up?  _ ”

“Nah, can’t wake someone up if they never really slept I was having some coffee when you called is everyone okay? Why’d you call?” He asked starting to worry 

“  _ What? not happy to talk to your old man?  _ ” You could practically hear the smirk in his voice before it turned to worry “  _ Nightmares?  _ ” he said quieter. 

“No, just couldn’t fall asleep.” He assured him, looking down at his toes. “Did you sleep?” The young male raised an eyebrow even if he couldn’t see him, the silence answer enough 

“Tony, you know you need sleep!” Peter huffed “You can’t stay up all night anymore!”

“  _ You callin’ me old underoos?  _ ” The older man chuckled “ _ And I know I just got sucked into work, besides aren’t I supposed to be the one yelling at you? “ _

Peter rolled his eyes but smiled anyway “Now, really, what did you need me for?” 

“  _ Oh! I was wondering if you and MJ want to stay here for a few days, if your not busy of course _ ” he quickly added waiting for a response. 

“I’ll ask MJ, but I bet we can.” Peter said, smiling “She’s sleeping at the moment, though, but I’ll call you when I have an answer.” 

“  _ Ok, kiddo love you tell MJ I love her too. _ ” And a beep signalling he hung up. 

Pocketing his phone, he walked inside to MJ sitting on the couch with her feet up and on her still flat stomach. phone in the other with an adorable messy bun in, walking over to her he leaned down grabbing her chin gently and tipping her head up to kiss her lips 

“Morning, baby” He murmured into her lips “How are you feeling?” he asked, walking into the kitchen. 

“I’m fine, like every other day” She huffed a laugh, but he could see she didn’t mind his worry.

“Want a yoghurt bowl?” he asked, looking in the fridge and pulling out some blueberries and strawberries with some greek yoghurt.

“Hm, sounds good can you add honey?” she asked distractedly. Peter just assumed she was on her phone. 

“‘Course what do you take for?” He joked faking offence as he grabbed the honey and a bowl out of the cupboard and grabbing a spoon from a drawer and scooping some yoghurt into the bowl pushing that aside and cutting up some fruit and putting it on top then drizzling some honey 

“Here’s your food M’lady” He smirked walking over to her and giving her the bowl and kissing her forehead and going to make his own 

  
  


After breakfast, the couple went and showered and got dressed when Peter remembered the question he needed to ask MJ walking up behind her in the kitchen while she washed the dishes he snaked his arms around her while sitting his head on her shoulder kissing her neck gently. 

“Hi, Baby” he murmured into her neck with a sigh breathing in her mango body wash. 

“Hi, hun” The wife responded with a smile. “Need something?” she asked, leaning into him and turning the sink off putting her own smoother hands on his calloused ones that rested on her belly and the almost not noticeable baby bump.    
  
“Mr Stark was wondering if we wanted to stay at his cabin for a few days, but I said I needed to ask you.” She nodded

“I’d like that, getting out of the city sounds nice.” she turned her head a little kissing his soft brown hair.

“Perfect I’ll call him” he beamed unhooking his arms from her and grabbing his phone from his pocket and clicking the top contact named ‘ _ Old man.’  _

_ Vrrrng, Vrrng, Vrnng,  _ then a _ beep “ Hey kiddo! get an answer from your scary wife? “  _ The man jokingly said 

“Yep, she said it would be relaxing to get out of the city, what days were you thinking? me and MJ are free all week after that we’re free from the 23rd to the 29th.”

“  _ What if you come today then stay ‘till Sunday? “  _ He suggested excitement in his voice at the prospect of seeing his son-not-son and his son-not-son’s wife soon.

Peter thought for a few moments “Yeah that would work” He nodded to himself smiling. 

“ _Great!_ _See you soon. Love you, kiddo! “_ Beep 

Walking over to MJ again he filled her in, then they both went to pack

* * *

They were both dragging suitcases behind them (as they’d be staying for most of the week) to there shared  Mercedes-ABW W 76, picking up both of them he put them in the backseat as MJ slid into the passenger and Peter in the driver’s side

“Ready? Need anything?” He asked his eyes narrowing as he took in her uncomfortable expression that she tried to hide, and it would’ve worked if he wasn’t so good at seeing through her mask 

“You okay?” He frowned grabbing her hand pausing in there driveway

Her head snapped to him “Oh yeah! Just some back pain” she smiled reassuringly adjusting her seat and relaxing. 

“Hm, okay” He looked her over again then started driving to there destination.

* * *

He pulled into a familiar driveway softly smiling at his wife who was asleep in her seat using his arm as a pillow she dozed off at around the 3 Hour mark and has stayed asleep unless they stopped for her to go to the bathroom or eat. 

With a soft sigh, he gently unclasped her arms from his and opened the door softly shutting it and opening her’s, gently shaking her. 

“Hey, hun wants me to carry you or would you like to walk?” Peter asked softly when she groggily opened an eye 

“Carry m’” she said tiredly sitting up with a wince as her back popped holding her arms out to him like a toddler wanting up which wasn’t entirely false.

He slowly put his arms under her and pulled her up bridal style. She felt light because of his super strength, so it was reasonably easy to carry her.

She nuzzled her face into his neck and sighed contently her arms curled around his muscular frame already asleep again as he climbed the stairs. After thinking for a second, he readjusted her, so her legs were wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck, her head resting between her shoulder and neck. His arm under her bum and the other he used to knock softly on the door as not to disturb his wife in his arms

The door opened to a very excited Morgan who squealed rather loudly yelling “Petey!”

He used his free arm to shush her, pointing to the squirming woman in his arms that settled down when she quieted. 

“I’m sorry!” She whisper shouted quieter than before right when the older Starks walked up behind her a fond look on there faces “I’m gonna put her in the guest room then grab our stuff” he said quietly, Mr Stark and Pepper nodded giving him room

He walked up to the guest room, laying her down and covering her up and kissing her forehead murmuring a ‘goodnight.’ and walking back down not even two seconds after he stepped off the last step did he have an arm full of Morgan who hugged him tightly.    
  


“Hey, Morgana” He smiled, kissing his sister’s cheek, making her giggle “Where’s your Mom and dad?” 

She hopped out from his arms and ran to the kitchen where the Starks were conversing. 

“Hi guys” Peter smiled, his Father Figure looked at him and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. 

“I missed you too” he chuckled. 

Once Mr Stark let go of him, he looked to Pepper and pulled her into a softer hug where she kissed his forehead.

“Is MJ okay?” Pepper asked once they settled down at the island him and Pepper with a mug of tea and Mr Stark with a coffee 

“Hm?” he said into his tea as he took a drink “Oh, yeah she’s fine she was just tired her back was bothering her on the way here.” he smiled at her taking another sip of his tea. They sat like that conversing for a while before Peter heard soft footfalls walking toward them that were MJ’s 

“Hi, hun” He smiled at her as she walked in, MJ smiled back albeit smaller as she stretched then walked towards her husband and falling against him, he chuckled as she sat on his lap curling up 

“Hey, Morgan can you grab the blanket on the couch?” Mr Stark asked quieter than before but not whispering as Peter wrapped his arms around her, Morgan nodded and ran off coming back a few seconds later with a soft fluffy white blanket that she handed to Peter who smiled at her and said ‘Thank you’ as he wrapped it around his wife Pepper smiled at them before getting up saying something about putting Morgan to bed which left him, his wifMrnd Mr Stark who sat on his phone once and awhile looking up at them.

“Back feel better?” He murmured gently rocking her, his cheek resting on her head

“Kinda, I’m having some mild cramps, but that’s normal” He nodded. 

“That’s good.” He looked up “Hey Tony, would you mind heating a water bottle with a towel? It helps MJ’s cramps” He said louder.

“Hm?” Tony looked up “Sorry Pete, didn’t catch that mind running that by me again?” He said sheepishly 

“Yeah, I just said can you heat a water bottle or get a heating pad? It helps MJ’s cramps” Peter repeated one of his circling her back and then to her stomach where he left it.

“I can do that, Pepper has a heating pad upstairs I’ll be right back” he turned around the corner and up the stairs.

About a minute later Tony arrives back in the kitchen with a soft blue heating pad he gives it to Peter who wraps it around her abdomen, turning it up to three on the settings.

“Thank you,” MJ said against Peters collarbone loud enough for Tony to hear. 

“Of course,” He said softly “I’m heading up to bed night kiddo’s” he smiled at them once more than disappeared around the corner leaving MJ and Peter alone.

After an hour or so, they went up to bed, unaware of the storm that was brewing.


	2. Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the typos and sad shit... Nothing graphic don't worry

MJ woke to the sunrise, wondering why she’d waken up then realising the body that usually kept her warm was missing she frowned he often he only got up this early if he had a nightmare her frown deepened as she got up grabbing her phone a hand flying to her stomach as a cramp hit her. Still, she ignored it Dr Ploaus said it was normal and to apply heat and lay down.

Walking out of the room she hears Peter talking on the phone, but it was muffled so she couldn’t understand the words. Walking over to the couch, she sat down. Taking a few deep breaths and unlocking the phone in her hand while the other free one rested on her belly a red steaming coffee cup sitting in front of her,  _ ‘Peter’s’  _ she thought right when her husband walked in kissing her lips gently, murmuring a ‘Moring baby’ before walking to the kitchen asking how she was feeling.

“I’m fine like every other day” She huffed, but she liked when her husband worried it showed he cared,

“Want a yoghurt bowl??” he called from the kitchen right when another cramp hit, she took a few more breaths.

“Hm, sounds good can you add honey?” she answered distractedly holding her belly ignoring the voice in the back of her head that warned her what if it wasn’t just a cramp.

“Course what do you take me for?” It almost made her laugh, and it would have if she weren’t so worried 

Peter started walking towards her a bowl in hand giving it to her with a “Here’s your food M’lady” and a smirk, with a gentle kiss on her forehead (and  _ no _ she did not blush) before he went to make his own 

***

After breakfast they both went and showered, MJ was washing dishes while humming a tune under her breath, as warm sturdy arms enveloped her torso and settled on her abdomen lips kissing her neck. “Hi, baby” his breath tickled her neck.

“Hi, hun” She smiled, leaning into his warm embrace as she turned the sink off putting her own hands on his, her baby bump barely noticeable under her dress

“Tony was wondering if we wanted to stay at his cabin for a few days, but I said I needed to ask you” Mj nodded, it sounded nice getting a few days to relax, destress with her family and husband (If you later asked she’d deny saying ‘her family’) maybe it’ll help her back pain and cramps.

“I’d like that, getting out of the city sounds nice” she turned her head kissing her husbands hair.

“Perfect I’ll call him!” he beamed pulling his arms away and grabbing his phone, to call Tony, but she couldn’t hear as he walked away she only heard snippets like ‘She Said’ and ‘relaxing.’ so she continued the dishes. 

***

He walked back over and filled her in on what would be happening and, she nodded just as she finished the last bowl and was free to go pack.

***

They were both dragging suitcases to there shared car, he took hers and set it in the back while she got into the passenger and he in the drivers just as her back started hurting and of course Peter would see she was in pain.

“You okay sweetie?” he asked with narrowed eyes. 

Her head looked to him and smiled reassuringly. It was so sweet how he worried it always made her heart flutter. 

“Yes, just some back pain”, She assured him getting comfy as he started driving

***

Someone was shaking her? Why? Opening up an eye she blearily looks at the person, ‘ _ Oh it’s Peter’  _ she calmed herself

“Hey, Hun want me to carry you or would you like to walk?” She really didn’t feel like walking

“Carry m’” she slurred tiredly, grabbing at the air being carried by her husband sounded so nice

Peter slid his arms under her legs and behind her back, lifting her and holding her to a warm chest. She fell asleep before they hit the stairs. 

“-ETEY” God why is it so loud? She squirmed as a voice above her shushed  _ someone _ , but the woman was back asleep before she could think too hard

***

Mj groggily opened her eyes to an unfamiliar bedroom, well until she looked around then she realized it was the Starks house and she was in the guest bedroom. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes till she saw stars, then she walked over to the bathroom and sitting on the toilet the red on her underwear, making her choke on her breath.

_ Remember what Dr. Ploaus said, “ _ Some spotting is typical in early pregnancy, but if you start bleeding heavily, you need to head to the ER.” MJ takes a few deep breaths. And finishes her business, heading downstairs where she follows the voices in the kitchen till her husband comes into view Saying a “Hi, Hun” with a smile.

Mj smiles back-Albeit Smaller- while she stretches walking over to Peter and climbing on his lap almost immediately falling back asleep as a warm blanket is wrapped around her. 

“Back feel better?” He murmured, gently rocking her and kissing her head

“Kinda, I’m having small cramps, but that’s normal” Peter nodded, and she drifted off not asleep but in between that and awake, a few minutes later (She thinks)a heating pad is on her stomach relieving the pain, and then she falls asleep.

***

Peter woke up with a groan to Morgan, jumping on his and Mjs bed.

“Petey! MJ!” she chanted for a few seconds before Pepper ran in Pajama clad with a reprimanding expression on looking at the girl still jumping and yelling. 

“Morgan Maria Stark!” pepper whisper-shouted with a pointed finger “Get off there bed there trying to sleep!”

Now looking at them Pepper looks apologetic “I’m so sorry Peter, she’s supposed to be asleep” Pepper turns her gaze to Morgan who looks sorry “Get back to bed!” she angrily says just as Mj sits up on her elbow groggily looking at them ‘Wha’ happenin’?” she tiredly asks.

“Nothing sweetheart go back to sleep” Peter soothes kissing her forehead when she lays back down curling up.

Pepper apologises again and walks out with a crying Morgan.

‘ _ May as well get up.’ _ He thinks getting up and walking downstairs and to the kitchen where Tony was cooking pancakes and Pepper on her phone both of them conversing quietly 

“Ah, Pete, Pepper told me what happened with Morgan, I’m sorry she was just excited to see you,” Tony apologised rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly as he looked at him. 

“It’s fine” he shrugged sitting by Pepper as a plate of pancakes and eggs was slid in front of him, “Thank you” Peter smiled at him, starting to eat.

“No problem, Pete”

***   
After breakfast the trio migrated to the living room and talked for about an hour, then Morgan joined them and they all talked, Peter played with Morgan for a bit and everything was good 

Then

“Boss, Mrs Parker is showing signs of a miscarriage” Mj? Miscarriage? What? Uhm no, not happening he is not gonna be the one to tell Peter his  _ son, _ he lost his baby,  _ wait, shit _ Mj  _ miscarriage _ that means losing blood right? Yeah, they need to get to Mj,  _ WAIT, OH SHIT, THEY NEED TO GET TO MJ. _

Tony jumped up startling Pepper “Hun? Everything okay?” she asked, worriedly looking up at him    
  
“Mj- Blood- Loss- baby-” he couldn’t get a sentence out, instead choosing to throw his phone at her, her eyes widening in realization 

“Tony I need you to get Peter I’ll go take care of Mj, what are you waiting for go!” she snapped, not with any heat. 

Peter

Yeah he needed to get Peter 

The man jogged over to the Lake where peter was holding Morgan on his shoulders laughing, god this boy-  _ man _ couldn’t catch a break

“Friday- Mj- Friday said- I’m sorry-” he took a deep breath before blurting it out, four words that will forever haunt him 

“Friday said Mj was showing signs of miscarriage-” everything else was lost on him 

_ ‘Mj had a miscarriage’ _

_ ‘Mj. Had. A. Miscarriage.’  _

When it finally settled in he put Morgan down -Rather abruptly- with a muttered sorry tunning inside as fast as he could and skipping up the steps arriving at there room

And, blood so much blood

***

The rest was a blur to Peter, of comforting Mj, blinding ambulance lights, a hospital and where they were now. A hospital room with Mj laying on a bed fresh tears running down her face, Peter’s probably looked the same

They’d been there for a day and he hasn’t left her side -besides a shower and Pepper forcing food into him while she also silently cried- with a wavering sigh he stood up 

“Can I sit behind you baby?” He asked, quietly, looking up at her face. She nodded, he sat her up gently and slid behind her, her back against his stomach and lower chest. His wife’s head under his chin her curly hair a mess pulled into a bun 

She started shaking then the sobbing her hand clutching her stomach blubbering out words akin to “My baby-”, “Why us” “I want my baby” making his chest hurt more then it did, he wrapped his arms around her while she curled up silent sobs making him shake.

Whispering soothing words to Mj, he mourned the infant who would never see the world

***

Mj was sleeping, while Peter sat in a chair next to the bed feeling numb, no, he felt so much pain he felt nothing at all his heart constantly feeling like it was gonna burst, and stop all at once. He just wanted his baby, he was going to love them and try to protect them from the evil of the world

And he would never get that

“Sir?” A voice asked, from the doorway turning his head to look he realized it was the doctor that’s been taking care of them, Dr. Ploaus 

“Yes?” He said his voice sounding empty even to his own ears 

“These are the release papers, all you have to do is sign here and here” She pointed to the areas underlined as she talked, him signing as she went 

“There,” He muttered, not rudely handing the pen back. She took it frowning

“I’m really sorry I know you and Mj would’ve been amazing parents,” the Doctor said softly walking out 

Peter sighed, tears springing to his eyes as he got up  _ ‘You can’t cry again, stay strong for Mj’  _ gently shaking Mj he whispered soothing nothings as she got up everything coming back to her all at once sobs already bubbling in her throat, Peter assumed this would happen (Read: It happened to him) 

gathering her in his arms, she curled into his chest as they walked into the waiting room people looking at them sympathetically. Arriving outside where Happy was waiting, he didn’t know how he knew but he did, the man opened the back door looking near to tears something Peter’s never seen.

Getting in he sees Tony and Pepper sitting in the back on bench seats leaving two seats for him and Mj, even though she’d be sitting on his lap.

Sitting down he rearranged her so she and him were comfortable her sobs quieting to only silent tears running down her cheeks, he squeezed her tighter salty droplets running from his eyes and over his lips Pepper and Tony seeming to know that silence would be better than anything 

The only thing filling the silence were broken cries and murmured reassurances 

**Author's Note:**

> Story title: You Say by Lauren Daigle
> 
> Series Title: Happy by P!nk
> 
> Chapter title: Perfect by Ed Sheeran


End file.
